Charlie and his job

While cleaning out my email this morning, I came across some pictures that Chuck sent me from Kadena AB, Japan. They are from when he was deployed there the winter after Addison was born - 2009. I had totally forgot that I had them so I was pretty excited to find them. All three of them are him flying the F-22 and he is getting ready to get on the boom to refuel the jet.

As I was downloading them from my email into our picture file, I couldn't help but think about his job.

Three days ago, the Air Force lost another pilot. An F-16 pilot this time. You would think after being a pilot wife for nearly ten years hearing of these accidents would get easier, but it doesn't. If anything, it gets harder because the longer we are in the Air Force, the more people we meet which makes the likelyhood of us knowing more and more of these pilots more likely. I never try to think about this part of his job. I guess it is a safety mechanism for me - the whole "it could never happen to me" thing. But the truth is, I think, every pilot's wife feels this way. And the fact of the matter is, it is a possibility EVERY time he steps into that air plane. And everytime there is an incident, I immediatly think of his wife - even if I don't know her. Than that shifts from thinking of her to thinking of any of my precious friends I have met on this journey. Which than shifts to "this could happen to me. What in the world would I do?"

And people ask me all the time "How do you deal with it? It is such a dangerous job?" The truth is, I honestly don't think about it. The only time I think about it is when I am actually watching him take off or see him on the ground in the jet. I learned early on that thinking about his flying would make me crazy - so I just don't. I turn it off whenever thoughts pop into my brain. Maybe this is unhealthy and an unrealisitic approach to the job, but it is how I keep myself sane with a life style that is all ready really difficult.

Please don't misunderstand me. I love that my husband has a job that he LOVES. I have often wished that more people could be so lucky to be so excited in the morning to get up and go to work like he is. (As most of his buddies are as well.The wives often joke that it is a sickness that they have.) And I am incredibly proud of him and all that he has accomplished. Even though he would NEVER tell anyone this, I will. He is also incredibly good at his job! (Which I will be honest, gives me a lot of comfort when I actually do give into the thoughts of his flying.) I also love that the Air Force has provided us with an amazing life. We have great friends scattered all over the country. We have lived all over the place and seen many things I could never have dreamed about as a Kelso kid. The Air Force takes good care of us and has provided us with a second family. So even though there are scary times being married to a pilot, and hard times being away from family so much of the time, I can honestly say, I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

PS - I MARRIED A FIGHTER PILOT!!!!! Jealous???